May 27, 2005

Listen to me

I need a portable voice recorder. And here's why. There are serious, serious gems of literary wit that explode in my head, frequently when I'm nowhere near a PC. Pages and pages of elegantly constructed arguments, observations that would astound the great thinkers, metaphors beyond comparison, similes of divine scope, all lost because my short-term memory is big on the short and short on the memory.

I've actually got a voice record function on my phone, which I mainly use for recording conversations with people, and then playing them back at them when they least expect it. Of course, these recordings are limited to 90 seconds, and I find that most of what I have to say takes much, much longer than that. Those of you who have had the pleasure of Rory in person, will know this to be true.

I've tried one system, which I call 'social voice recording', which involves keeping lots of people around me at all times, each hanging on every word I say. This system has met with varying levels of success. It's quite easy to keep lots of people around me at all times ('horrified interest' seems to be the main drawcard), but getting them to hang on every word I say seems to be harder than I anticipated. Mainly because they insist on getting a word in, now and again.

Posted by rory at 04:01 PM

May 26, 2005

Cough crackling

So there I was. In the pharmacy. Getting cough syrup. Of course, you have to give your name and details when you buy certain drugs these days (i.e. all the good ones). I know this so well that I'm able to tell the pharmacy droid behind the counter that my name is the second on the list on screen.

I don't think they actually use the data they collect, actively. I say that because if they did, I'm sure that by now I would have had jack-booted thugs kicking down my front door, demanding access to my stash of codeine, nasal spray (!) and asthma ventilators.

Anyway, astute readers will know that I had a cold a while ago. So I threw every known remedy at it. So it lasted about 24 hours, and then went away. Leaving me with a lingering, annoying, yet cracklingly-satisfying cough. Which is why I was in the pharmacy, getting Dilinct.

And bless the aged-pharmacist's benevolent heart, but he insisted on reading the package insert three times. Yes, three times. And we all know that aged people read like the dickens and whip through small print like it's a Clancy novel. Of course, this would not have mattered if I had not been in a hurry to get home to watch something or other on TV. Which, in this case, I was.

Anyway, I eventually got the cough syrup, after fending off offers of spoons. ("Yes, I actually do have a spoon at home. I use it when I'm cooking up crack... I'm sure it will work fine.")

Not convinced though, about the cough syrup. I'm still coughing.

Anyway, I'm off to have a cigarette.

Posted by rory at 06:02 PM

May 25, 2005

Lap dance

Winter approaches. Actually, winter has sent its half-cousin ahead, prepping the way - it's now cold in Johannesburg in the evenings.

This means that the Great Lap War has begun. Whereas previously, my cat would wait at least 45 minutes after I had sat down before deigning to grace my lap with her furry presence, she now waits, oh, about 2.7 seconds before climbing up. The trouble is, of course, that I am human. And occasionally need to get up to fetch cigarettes, get a drink, go to the loo, cook supper, light incense, or any one of the number of things that I have not yet found a way to do while remaining seated on the couch.

Had this been summer, a mere shift in the air pressure arround my seated figure would have sent her scurrying away. Now, with the cold, when I rise, and am practically standing, my lap is a thing no more. Yet she (and her claws) will be bodily attached to where my lap used to be. She's like velcro - same sound, 1000 times more painful.

I've lost count of the number of times I have sworn to have her declawed, as I regard my ripped upholstery/clothes/skin with a grimace.

However, there has been a development as of late. She now reckons that if she falls asleep, there's no way that I would dare disturb her by actually getting up. All it means is that I rise, and she tumbles in a somnambulent ball to the side.

Posted by rory at 05:00 PM

Get Firefox. Get video.

Funnyfox has three videos for you to watch.

Posted by rory at 11:45 AM

Heartlands opening delayed

"It's official. Eager partygoers across Gauteng will have to pack away their dancing frocks for at least a few more weeks."

Posted by rory at 11:35 AM

May 24, 2005

Read TV

M-Net introduces Subtitles for Hearing Impaired.

Posted by rory at 05:31 PM

May 23, 2005

Things my girlfriend and I have argued about...

Quite easily, one of the great pieces of writing on the Internet.

No, it's not my girlfriend.

Posted by rory at 03:13 PM

May 20, 2005

Speeding up Firefox, the right way

Good article on improving the performance of Firefox. Caters for all speed/bandwidth cases.

Posted by rory at 10:21 AM

May 19, 2005

Nokia N91

I'm terribly picky when it comes to cell phones. I can't stand the trend towards smaller keys, closer together. By all means, make the phones thinner, but don't make them so small that the keys become unuseable.

So perhaps the Nokia N91 is a step in the right direction.

Unfortunately, it has a slide-open key-cover, which, being a moving part, is a Bad Thing.

Posted by rory at 10:24 AM

May 18, 2005

I have a cold

Having a cold serves, if nothing else, as a reminder of how wonderful it is to be healthy most of the time.

The top of my desk at work looks like a small pharmacy, my nose sounds like some tentacled sea creature crawling onto land, and I'm smoking less.

Guess which one of those three annoys me the most.

Posted by rory at 04:17 PM

May 17, 2005

Banned for life

There are news media cliches that should be banned for life.

Posted by rory at 03:24 PM

Burnt Salad

First there was Salad Fingers. Now there's Burnt Face Man.

And let's not forget Milkman.

Posted by rory at 03:08 PM

Working boys

Two friends of mine have just updated their sites. Luiz DeBarros and Chris Allan.

Posted by rory at 10:58 AM a large gang of Iceland Metrosexuals

World famous Green Rabbit writer, Mikhail Holberwitz, was brutally attacked Sunday afternoon in Toronto by a large gang of Iceland Metrosexuals. The attack occurred outside of a downtown Spa where Mikhail was putting up advertisements for the paper. Interesting to note, that even though he was attacked by 12 men, including one vicariously dry humping him from the rear, Mikhail survived the attack unscathed.

Posted by rory at 10:51 AM

May 16, 2005

Grace under water

Glenn (a.k.a. my boss) and his wife Heidi are having a baby. Updates in near-real-time.

Posted by rory at 03:20 PM

May 09, 2005

mplayer downloads

I've recently discovered that mplayer can grab a stream for you.

The jury is still out, though, on whether you can play the resulting stream...

Posted by rory at 10:55 AM | TrackBack