July 30, 2003

People from your past

When I was in high school, Jilly Gooud was my home room teacher, and directed me in a number of high school productions. And it turns out she's still around. She doesn't look a day older from when I knew her.

Posted by rory at 05:45 PM | TrackBack

Quote of the last five minutes

[15:57:22] <XSyn> -Quote of the Moment: My (real) friend Luke, on why he thinks it's ok to sleep with prostitutes: "I'm not paying them for sex. I'm paying them to leave afterwards."

Posted by rory at 04:03 PM | TrackBack

Pet names

One day I want to own a pair of animals and call them "Drag" and "Drop", or "Cut" and "Paste", or "Point" and "Click".

However, the coolest pairing of names for pets I've ever heard, was these two guys who owned two dogs, and called them "Dubfire" and "Sharam".

Posted by rory at 03:08 PM | Comments (1)

Best seller

"In retrospect, we should not have let the squirrel drive."

Now that's a good opening for a book.

Posted by rory at 02:53 PM | TrackBack


I think some bit of a tooth just broke off. Damn that falafal.

Posted by rory at 02:09 PM | TrackBack

July 29, 2003

Maxwell - 'Now (At The Party)'

Now I know
Now I found
Now I feel just like this
So united
Now I feel somethin' special
(ohh, mmm)
I can't even describe it to ya

(let's try not to let the negative erupt, keep it rockin')
Keep it rockin' babe, you don't stop babe
(when i'd much rather watch my people movin' it up, at the party) Yeah, party

Now we cool
Now we fine
Now we good
Everything is dyn-o-mite
Now in fact ya'll, (uh), we gon' be alright tonight, yeah

(let's try not to let the negative erupt, keep it rockin')
Ooh-woo-woo-woo, oh waah, oh yeah
(when i'd much rather watch my people movin' it up, at the party)
(at the party)

Keep it rockin' babe, you don't stop babe

(at the party)


(at the party)


(I'd much rather watch my people movin' it up, at the party) Party
(at the party) Party
(at the party)
You don't stop, yeah, yeah

Posted by rory at 03:25 PM | Comments (2)

July 28, 2003


Went to Station this weekend. It's an exceptionally well-laid out club. Low points are that it's in Midrand, and that DJ Sakim was playing. Thankfully, so were the other DJs.

In particular, Jason Magic's set was simply stunning.

Posted by rory at 06:17 PM | TrackBack


Mr & Mrs Wayne & Shania, who are now on their honeymoon, jaunting around Mozambique and South Africa.

From this, one would infer that TheDecks will now have a his and hers section.

Posted by rory at 02:09 PM | TrackBack

July 25, 2003

Which drug should you be hooked on?

Star light,
star bright,
what images will I see tonite?

Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by rory at 03:07 PM | Comments (1)

3 hours to go...

...and Wayne and Shania get married.

Posted by rory at 02:00 PM | TrackBack

July 24, 2003

Nic on the Hivemind

"In other words, if you're going to write for a mass market, make sure your message is clear, concise, and unambiguous. Then only 60% of the readers will misunderstand or misquote you."

Posted by rory at 11:02 AM | TrackBack

Scripture scanned

The Gutenberg Bible: scanned and online.

"The Ransom Center acquired its two-volume copy, which includes some illuminations in gold leaf, in 1978. Oram estimated the copy, which is 1,268 pages in two volumes, is worth up to $20 million."

The pages are linen. Linen!

Posted by rory at 10:54 AM | TrackBack


Your first name of Rory has given you a practical, logical, analytical approach to life and a great deal of patience. You enjoy working at anything of a mechanical or technical nature, and believe that what is worth doing is worth doing well. When you are interested in a project, you concentrate all your thoughts on it and do not appreciate being interrupted. This name creates a deliberate and methodical way of thinking and speaking; it takes you time to learn but, once you have mastered a subject, you do not forget it. You are very systematic in all you do and do not like to see things out of order; however, there is a tendency for you to be too fussy. There is a seriousness to your nature which could cause you to worry over your responsibilities, especially when confronted with change and uncertainty. You are overly fond of heavy foods such as meat, potatoes, breads and pastries and could suffer with stomach and intestinal disorders, constipation or boils.

I'm not sure about the boils though.

Try your name at Kabalarian Philosophy:

Posted by rory at 10:47 AM | TrackBack

July 23, 2003

Ponder this

What's the best part about making snuff movies?

The low salary run.

Posted by rory at 05:51 PM | TrackBack

July 22, 2003

Ever dance with the devil?

Ever sit at a dinner party, look around, and see couples? Couples that don’t include you? You’re there by yourself, entire in your singularity, asymptotic alone. Still you’re with friends. Friends, who have friends, and you're part of that. You’re involved in a hundred threesomes, and always as the third. You’re never the primary, nor the secondary, only the trinity. Yet only the one. Religious at best, no father, no son, and wholly a ghost. At most.

Look down at your plate, single serving. Cutlery arranged, in pairs. You’re the spoon at the top, not fork, not knife.

And you wonder. Will it ever happen? Will I relinquish the selfish, and embrace the other? Alone, not lonely, or at least you tell yourself. Yourself, always there, always honest. An intimacy of one. A relationship bar none.

A pair of hands, a pair of feet. No subtlety. Adam and Eve, two peas in a pod. A single stream of consciousness, both dialogue and commentary. You are the alternate soundtrack. You are the audience. You are the star.

An aria of reflection, contemplative indeed. Knowledge in-depth, incestuous faith. Trust in yourself. No other, no where, know that...

You are…


Posted by rory at 06:26 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Sentence complete

Abstinence courts introspection, but screens its calls.

Posted by rory at 06:06 PM | TrackBack

Favorite Things

Halogen uplights and big-muscled fellas
Pink puffy draperies and drinks with umbrellas
Brown Puerto Rican boys tied up with string
These are a few of my favorite things

Penthouse magazine and silicone breasts
Girls dressed in leather with tatoos on their chests
Blonde lesbo orgies, a quick mid-day fling,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the whip cracks (oww)
When the cane stings (ooo)
When I'm feeling bad
I just think of a few of my favorite things,
And then I get hard...for Dad.

Adrian sent me this. It's from some off-Broadway play. I think.

Posted by rory at 11:41 AM

July 21, 2003

A weekend of nothing

Abstinence courts introspection.

Posted by rory at 10:35 AM | TrackBack

July 20, 2003

Wear the wrong button, leave the plane

I swear the world has gone mad.

Posted by rory at 02:17 PM | TrackBack

July 18, 2003

Happy Birthday Madiba!

Nelson Mandela turns 85 today!

Posted by rory at 11:53 AM | TrackBack

July 17, 2003

My problem child

Albert Hoffman's LSD: My Problem Child - full text online.

Posted by rory at 02:18 PM | TrackBack

For the love of Gnod

Gnod.net is a cool way to discover new music based on what you like already.

Posted by rory at 01:44 PM

July 16, 2003

All your monitors are belong to us

This is quite impressive.

Posted by rory at 03:37 PM | TrackBack

July 15, 2003

Ode to blogging

Eye’s a-gleam, feed the meme
Comment here, have no fear

Horse to flog? Write a blog.
Life mundane, I shall explain.
Surf my word, read absurd
One page main, the rest inane.

Attitude, what’s my mood?
Write for fun, sometimes lewd.
Don’t be crass, don’t be rude.
All brevity is eschewed.

Frailties held up to light
Complexes are a blight
Upon the literary night.
I do believe my pen has might.

Wit deluxe, bile reflux
Simple sex, complex fucks.
Ego checks, trend he bucks
Verbal quips, nips and tucks.

Vanity, sincerity
I do have temerity
No such lack of clarity
Except this rhyming parody.

Posted by rory at 06:17 PM | TrackBack

Politely paragraph

Fragmented financially, fractured fiduciary, ferocious phenomenal, exquisitely aware.

Simply singular, serenely angular, superbly vernacular, viciously fair.

Varied vocabulary, veritable hypocrisy, virtual vanity, lacking care.

Keenly critical, kindled carnal, curtly converse, always there.

Posted by rory at 06:11 PM | TrackBack

July 14, 2003

One day at Lockheed Martin

Man Guns Down 5 Co-Workers, Then Shoots Himself - which just makes you wish that he'd tried those actions, but in reverse order.

I'd like to make propose that we now dub these happenings as 'bowling incidents'.

Posted by rory at 11:29 AM | TrackBack

Give War A Chance

"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol,
causes the fundamental ills of society.
If we're looking for the source of our troubles,
we shouldn't test people for drugs,
we should test them for stupidity,
ignorance, greed and love of power."

One of my favourite authors, P. J. O'Rourke, says this, and many other things.

Posted by rory at 11:23 AM

July 13, 2003

"Can I be honest?"

Ever had someone say this to you? It's a bit like a linguistic red flag. No good conversation this way lies. Abandon hope all ye who enter here. Engage tact fore and aft. You'll need it.

Of course, I've noticed that it's usually just when that someone about to say something potentially hurtful. Well, potentially. Some people tend to brandish this phrase around like a personal liability shield. Their time will come.

And it makes you wonder: have I been lied to all this time? Has my previous interaction with this person needed a polygraph? Or a good deal of space, say the size of Montana? Am I the kind of person to whom lying is easy? And now they've changed the rules and switched to truth?

I'm tempted at such times to reply: "No, please don't! Anything but the truth. I'd much rather you lied through your teeth. I mean, after all: why change now?" I'd then watch in entirely inappropriate glee as they walked off in a huff, their potential 'honesty' wrapped around them like a security blanket. Hopefully really tightly across the mouth and nose.

This phrase however, provides, in their short-sighted mind, diplomatic immunity for something that would probably otherwise be called less than flattering. This phrase is the email disclaimer of conversation, and it should accord the same distaste.

"Can I be honest? That outfit really doesn't suit you."

"Can I be honest? People don't like you."

"Can I be honest? I don't trust you."

(Notice too, the careful cowardice in the transferred epithet of 'people' above. You can be sure that 'people' refers to one person.)

So assuming for the moment that Captain Honesty's intentions are pure, even if their marketing is not, is there an alternative?

Yes. Choose your words carefully. Words have the most incredible power: they can motivate, inspire, and challenge. They can also insult, hurt, and do disservice to the point being made.

But more importantly, and more subtly, they can colour your communication to your advantage. You can wield your words to provide a fecund framework within which your communication will be received, subconsciously in the mind of the other party. And it is this framework that that goes a long way to the support and understanding of your communication. A poor framework is often the make-or-break part of the communication, that, well, broke.

Ever heard the phrase: "play the game, not the man"? Remember an argument that degenerated into a mudslinging match? This is what happens when the words and terms used have been less than carefully chosen.

So how do you choose the words? Think about it from the recipient's point of view – what makes sense to them? The only thing that you have at stake here is your point, so couch it in a way most likely to match the recipient's sensibilities.

(It helps, of course, to have a large vocabulary, and clear diction. Mumbling just indicates that a part of you doesn't really believe what you're saying. And don't be afraid of the pause. In any communication, there needs to be time for the information received to be processed. You goal is to achieve the Ikea of conversation. Clean, crisp lines of thought, elegant surfaces, and clear spaces in which to absorb the artfully chosen vocal ornaments. What if you're spewing the linguistic equivalent of wall-to-wall bric-a-brac, the rooms littered with 'um' and 'ah', and not a silent piece of surface in site? You've effectively dressed your communication in the equivalent of DayGlo neon, and hurled it at the recipient with all the finesse of an overweight dance class.)

Princess Adrian, by his own admission. (Or emission. I'm not sure which.) pointed out that he uses the phrase: "Can I be brutally honest?" And promptly is.

Although when he does say this, my mind recoils in a horrified anticipation of the snap of a rubber glove.

Posted by rory at 08:46 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

A lack of human Rites

So the other day, Michael asks me why I haven't posted a Rite for a while.

As I peer back at him over the pile of work on my desk, I answer: "I have a job".

This happened about a week ago, and I've only now gotten around to posting it.

Posted by rory at 08:40 PM | TrackBack

July 04, 2003

All grown up

You know you've reached a new level of maturity when you think nothing of using your fingers to squish down the icky bits left in the plug hole in the sink.

Well - you tell yourself you think nothing of it.

Posted by rory at 04:09 PM | TrackBack

Firebird, once again, owns your bases

Firebird, the One True Browser, apparently knows no limits to its productivity enhancements. Once you've installed the appropriate Tab Extensions, you can do this: copy your to-be-viewed URL onto the clipboard (Ctrl-C), switch to Firebird (Alt-Tab), and open a new Tab in Firebird (Ctrl-T).

Et voila: your URL is automagically seen on the clipboard and loaded into the new tab.

Do the right thing.

Posted by rory at 08:56 AM | Comments (1)

July 03, 2003

Ode to MP3

Tweaked, played, rewound, made.
Processed, encoded, compressed, downloaded.
Bored, written, stored, smitten.
Better codec, download more tech.

Napster share, all is fair.
RIAA running, just a scare.
Network wide, lots to hide.
Who’s to say what’s really there?

Orrin Hatch met his match.
Creative debt, cast the net.
Legislate, that’s your fate.
Internet: what can I get?

Got a pipe. Believe the hype.
Download now. Download how?
Quicker see, look no fee.
Serve: allow, take a bow.

Don’t call Orrin, server’s foreign.
Hack my router, break my ‘puter
Logic bomb, no dot com.
Not a looter – wanna neuter?

Encode, (LAME), TagRename.
Play geek! SoulSeek.
Mac iTunes, Hilary ruins.
DMCA: what a cheek!

Posted by rory at 05:08 PM | TrackBack

Cheekbones you could hang a national debt off of

This is Freddie Ljungberg

Posted by rory at 01:53 PM | TrackBack

July 02, 2003

Happy time

I think I want to get one of these bibs for Erynne.

Posted by rory at 06:32 PM | TrackBack

Jabber: your sandwich is ready

Just reconnected to Jabber, the preferred IM platform of the previous company.

54 messages from Kelly, indicating that 'the sandwich lady is here'.

Posted by rory at 05:07 PM

What is spam in Afrikaans?

[16:46:55] <Adrian> just go to rory.sharp.fm [16:46:56] <Adrian> =) [16:47:01] <Spam> Just did :) [16:47:57] <Adrian> your famous my dear [16:48:12] <Spam> woohoo :) [16:48:21] <Adrian> next you will be selling to rights to Spam : the movie.. which will of course be adapted from Spam: The Musical [16:48:30] <Spam> LOL! [16:48:34] <Adrian> which will be translated into 'Varkpos : die fliek'
Posted by rory at 04:58 PM | TrackBack

All your thoughts are belong to us

[16:34:47] <Spam>: The other day I was making a shopping list and I found myself writing things with underscores, like shower_cleaner and contact_glue.
Posted by rory at 04:38 PM | Comments (1)

36.0% sexually pure (64.0% sexually corrupt

You answered "yes" to 64 of 100 questions, making you 36.0% sexually pure (64.0% sexually corrupt); that is, you are 36.0% pure in the sex domain.
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 47%, based on a comparison of your test results with 879613 other submissions for this test.

The average purity for this test is 56.5%.
The first submission for this test was received June 17, 1994.

How pure are you?

(the only problem with the test is that it does not have a 'select all' option, which would be easier for some people.)

Posted by rory at 04:32 PM | TrackBack

Keylime Pie

Does this not just sound absolutely delicious?

Posted by rory at 02:49 PM | Comments (1)

Memory you can't bring your speaker near

By using MRAM, the companies say a laptop could work more like other electronic devices such as a television or radio: turn the power on and the machine jumps almost instantly to life with settings just as you had left them.

Posted by rory at 02:29 PM | TrackBack

Pornographied Shakespeare

"Is this a dagger I see before me? Come… let me hold it."

"Out, damn spot!"

"Alas, poor Yoric. I blew him well."

Posted by rory at 09:17 AM | TrackBack

July 01, 2003

Christopher Meloni's baloney

Princess Adrian wants to be Christopher Melon's prison bitch.

I've told him he can share.

Posted by rory at 05:57 PM | TrackBack