June 19, 2003

Wierd ass keyboards

OK. I'm typing this on one of those Microsoft keyboards. You know, the so-called 'natural' keyboards. The ones that look like the two sides of the keyboard have had a fight and are not on speaking terms. Or, as it feels in my case, typing terms.

If it wasn't for the vanity of The Rites, I'd leave all the mistakes that I'm making in so you could see, and laugh along with me.

So far, what has this keyboard shown me?

That I've been pressing the B key with the wrong finger all my life.

Don't get me wrong. Punctuation aside, and, it would appear, for now the letter B, I'm not afraid of typing large amounts of prose. Witness the self-indulgent morass that is The Rites.

However, it would seem that I now have a split keyboard (goddamn that bloody B key. That's it. I'm not typing anything more that has a B in it. I swear.)

Where was I? Ah yes. This keyoard is split. Everyone in the office has one already. I have until now, ironically, een using a keoard that is of the... uh... straight variety. I've asked around how long it takes until the addiction kicks in. You know: you've heard all the zealots: "Oh now that I use a natural keyboard I no longer suffer from RSI. Once you've tried it, you won't e ale to go ack." True. You're still lacking a personality. And there's no Microsoft replacement for that.

My hands feel like hooked claws. I have this wierd dissociative feeling in my arms that normally only arrives after half a ottle of luricant.

uggery uggery ollocks.

  :::  a Thought ritual performed at 05:17 PM   :::   ritual observers [1]   :::  


Next step in the process:

Introducing the Dvorak Keyboard - The Dvorak keyboard layout is a control panel option on almost every current computer. It is a vastly more comfortable and efficient alternative to the standard "QWERTY" pattern, which was designed in the 1800s with no effective attempt at typing comfort.

Posted by: tristan at June 20, 2003 01:17 PM
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