May 29, 2003

I gotta get my stuff back

Things I have loaned out to people (or left behind because of induced incompetence at the time) that need to be returned to me. These are the objects that I can remember.

(sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas, the way your weird drunk Uncle would do it each year) “Comedy, drama and thriller DVDs, assorted books, a Zippo lighter left at a bathhouse (don’t ask), another Zippo lighter left at a house party, a cap, a pair of pants (don’t ask), a Speedo (don’t ask), a grey fluffy top, and VHS porn (you’re welcome to ask).”

Oh, and one porn DVD. You know who you are, but your right hand is probably a bit stunned as to what it’s been put through. Or around. And don’t forget my funky green mug. PS: I have your porn DVD as well to return to you. Oh, and those books. Call me! Warm regards, sincerely, all my love, etc...

Things I have to return to other people: as above, and a sweater. Oh, and that piddling problem of crushing bank debt. You’ll get it back eventually. In the meantime, you’re welcome to borrow a book. Here, try this one. Chapter 11 is quite good. Are you OK? You’ve gone quite pale. Here, let me hold your overdraft. No, I insist. It’s really not a problem. You’re welcome. See you next month.

  :::  a Thought ritual performed at 11:55 AM   :::   ritual observers [1]   :::  



Posted by: adrian at May 29, 2003 11:59 AM
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